Allison Ka-Hei Ton 02/27/11

It was Sat.night 2/26/11 around 5pm, I felt water tingling down from my vajayjay. Calvin was home at that time, getting ready for work. I told him that I think my water broke and assured him that its fine and told him to go to work anyways. Then, I head to Mi pueblo to buy me a spicy pork burrito and iced cold papaya drink. I also had my eyebrow and underarm waxed. That was all in my to-do list before I go into labor and I have to get it done no matter what. Got home by 8, took a shower and as more water leaked out, I started to panic. Called Kaiser, and they told me to come in check if its urine or water. Call calvin at work and he didn't come home til 10. With no contractions so I wasn't at all in pain, and in my mind, I thought it was a false alarm. Got to the hospital, find out that in fact my water did broke and they wanted to give me proticin immediately since my water broke since five and still have no contractions. Calvin wanted to wait out and feel confident that the contractions will come. By 3am, the dr order the medication for contractions, by 4 am, I was starting to feel the pain coming stronger and longer. By 7am, with no end in sight, I was so exhausted that the midwife told me to get the epidural. I agreed since I wasn't in the mind set to make any decision on my own anymore. Within ten minutes of injecting the epidural, I slept through the rest of the morning til 11am. Doc came in to check and I was 10 cm dilated and I was ready to push. Two hours later and all the dr sees is the baby's dark hair moving in and out. With no feeling from the waist down, I have no idea what im pushig plus I couldn't hold my breath long enough to push. By then, there was at least 10 medical staff in the labor room. They bought the the vaccum and suck the baby out. With one last push, the baby finally came out. It was so surreal. I was in a daze. It was life and death in a matter of a split minute. The nightmare was finally over. They put the baby on me, she looks black and blue and no sound came out. I started to cry hysterically! I thought it was a still birth. I was so frightened and a million things run through my mind. After the pediatrician took her and slapped her a few times, she started to cry a bit but not a lot. They whisked her away immediately because she has a fever because I had a fever. For the next three days, we stayed at the hospital. The baby was at the nicu. The first two days, I was jealous because calvin was with the baby all the time. I don't feel the connection at all. I was in withdrawal. I just wanted to be by myself and healed up my stitches and get my temperature down. By the third day, the baby gets to stay with me. Thats when my mother instinct starts to kick in. One look at her, it was love at first sight. Its like my high school crush but times 100. Its so strong and the bond is so addicting!! I can't get enough of her. Now, I dreaded going back to work. I know ill miss her alot at work. This is feeling is so weird and its so hard to described. It makes wanna do it all over again even when its so painful. When I see her, all of the pain and suffering disappeared. I just wish she'll stay small and attached to you instead of growing up so fast and leave you. I wonder if she ever know the love I have for her.